Sunday, May 28, 2006

MEN....what do they actually want????

Women often tell that men confuse them and that they are unsure what a man is really looking for.If the media is to be believed, many women don't care what a man is looking for anymore because they have been empowered by their own sexuality liberated career woman in change of their own destiny.In which case, as long as the man wants them, that is fine.

It doesn't matter whether that view is actually true or not.What is true is that the modern man is increasingly struggling to find his place in the world.The Armed Forces and Space programs quite rightly have very highly qualified career women working in their departments and in most aspects of industry,women are excelling.The old male bastions are crumbling and with them their innate self-respect as well as their understanding of how they should act and what they desire.

Any woman reading this may say well it's a problem for men ang they should deal with it.Absolutely,but you cannot expect miracles instantly.Generations of history dictating a man's role and function cannot be decided and altered in the space of 20 years without some fallout.Few can argue against the excitement felt by women as their empowerment continues but at the same tims,one must expect issues to coincide with this.And one of those as i said is the question of understanding what the
modern man is looking for.

Men have started to evoice and are starting to grasp the fact that their role may not be as it once was."Starting' is the operative word because this does not mean that there aren't large swathes of the world where men insist on being the breadwinner and women should still remain at home rearing children.It is going to take a long time to change the world.However,a change is in full swing.Men know that to find a mate they are going to have to work harder than ever before and they are aware that women call the shots far more than ever before.But this doesn't essentially change what a man is looking for.

Okay....So what is a man seeking??

* First of all a man is seeking a love-interest.This may surprise many women but men like to love and they like being loved in return.The problem they say is that many so called liberated modern women come across as impassioned and cold.It is not easy to find a loving woman and it is very noticeable how many men try ang hang on when they think they hav found their Miss Right.

* Men are seeking a woman who is attractive to them.Women may despair that men can be so shallow and that looks could matter so much but be careful.Men aren't necessarily looking for a catwalk model and many men don't like women who weigh 80lbs.But men do want a woman who takes pride in their appearance (though not excessively).Men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good and i don't believe any man who says otherwise.

* Men are looking for a trustworthy girl,someone they can have faith in and someone who will be there for them.This may sound like an add thing to say,but the fact is some women are not trustworthy and many are not faithful either.So manmy men are increasingly wary.That kiss at a party or the flirtatious behaviour with the gorgeous barman may not count and in fact it's all great fun and part of a woman's character.But reverse the situation and as a woman,you hate him doing the same.A man can never forgive a woman being unfaithful and so he is looking for someone who he really does trust.

* Men want to make a home eventually and are loking for a woman who will be willing sharer in home life.Women with a sociable lifestyle are attractive because they can be relied upon to keep the social diary running in a long-term relationship .

* Men are seeking women who are feminine gentle and kind because deep down the qualities that make a woman a great mother are an attraction in themselves.I am not suggesting that the man himself needs mothering,though some do,it is more the point that men seek the attribute in women that point to omeone who would make a great mother to future offspring.

* Men want women with a great sense of humor.Women often come across as uptight or too bothered by too many small details.You will sometimes hear mention of a girl who is 'one of the boys'.What tis means is that she is able to fit in with their humour and is sociable and fun to be with.Such women are extremely attractive to many men.Men want to have a good time and relax when not working and so their ideal partners are women who are able to do the same.

* Men are looking for women who retain their femininity and are caring and kind no matter how they wheel and deal in the boardrooms.In recent years,aping men may be a female fashion statement,but it doesn't make them attractive.Whilst every woman in the world burps and farts and has the right to drink pints of beer,it doesn't necessaily attract them to the opposite sex.Women can get angry and say well men will just have to get used to it,but the issue is that they don't.They can just choose not to go for women who act in the same way as their drinking buddies.

* Men want someone who is supportive.Many women are quick to critize men in their behaviour,career and set about trying to alter them and mould them.This is a crucial mistake.Men can be manipulated yes,but they see their partnerships as support systems.The best relationships work both ways in terms of support.Where a woman is not able or willing to give that support and is quick to criticize then she may lose he man.

* Men don't like angry women who shout.They want a woman who can debate and converse and is able to discuss.Communication is king.A fiery passionate temperament may have made you interesting and challenging on day one.But by day 500 it holds no glory whatsoever.

* Men love a challenging woman,someone who keeps them on their toes.Men are generally lazy in relationships once they feel they're in secured territory.When a man is challenged so he does something about it.If you want to keep youe man interested,keep him challenged.

* Men are generally more reserved about sex than women.This is my experience and it is a fact.Men know what they like in bed and tend to stick to it.The adventurous sexual appetite in most men isn't there even if they are convinced it is.Men in reality are quite conservative.Sexually adventurous has nothing to do with having lots of partners and more to do with the things they will try with the same partner.In most test cases i have conducted,it is the man who looks for a man quiet time in the bedroom and the woman who ultimately becomes bored.

* Men want a woman who will commit to them.Though increasingly this ishard to find,it doesn't take away the wish.Men want a girlfriend who they can share with and trust and be open with.Commitments is not a on-way street and therefore men are struggling to find the levels of commitment they found previously.But the need is still there.

* Men don't want to be alone...

This topic can easily fire a great debate and i may be accused of being completely wrong but that is the beauty of opinions.We all have them.The fact is a modern man is seeking a reliable,sexy,single girl with whom he can have a long-term relationship.He
wants to have fun,share his life and ultimately settle down.There are few long-term bachelors but not that many.The problem guys have is that the world has changed.They don't necessarily want to have children and settle down straight away,but it will come.They do seek self-respect even if they are not the primary breadwinners and they seek respect from their partner.Whilst women become increasingly strong in their new roles in society,it is worth remembering that it takes and always will take,two to tango.

P.S : This is an article i read in a women's fashion magazine...this was written by a female on what she understood about a men.I felt this was interesting and i blogged it to share it wif my friends.

The problems with GUYS:


If u treat him nicely, he says u are in love with him;
If u dont, he says u are proud.

If u dress nicely, he says u are trying to lure him;
If u dont, he says u are from kampung.

If u argue with him, he says u are stubborn;
If u keep quiet, he says u have no brains.

If u are smarter than him, he'll lose face;
If he's smarter than u, he is great.

If u dont love him, he tries to possess u;
If u love him, he will try to leave u.

If u dont make love with him, he says u dont love
him;
If u do, he says u are cheap.

If u tell him your problem, he says u are
troublesome;
If u dont, he says that u dont trust him.

If u scold him, u are like a nanny to him;
If he scolds u, it is because he cares for u.

If u break your promise, u cannot be trusted;
If he breaks his, he is forced to do so.

If u smoke, u are bad girl;
If he smokes, it's a new fashion.

If u do well in your exams, he says it's luck;
If he does well, it's brains.

If u hurt him, u are cruel;
If he hurts u, u are too sensitive!!

SO HARD TO PLEASE!!!!!
If guys were to read this, they will swear that it's not true..but if u don't they say u are selfish.....
Guys...pls dun take tis to heart...tis is only meant for some males who r just stubborn to realise themselves tat they r such....And gals...pls take tis for a good laugh....

Friday, May 26, 2006

~sUmThIn To PoNdEr AbOuT~



GUYS FACTS :

When a guy calls u,
He wants to be with you.

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you.

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong.

When a guy says, "I'm fine," after a few minutes,
He means it.

When a guy stares at you,
He thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the
world.

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
He has the world.

When a guy calls you everyday
He is in love.

When a (good) guy say he loves you
He means it.

When a guy says he can't live without you
He's with you till your done.

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
He misses you more than you could have ever
missed
him or anything else.


GIRL FACTS:

When a girl is quiet,
Millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few
seconds,
She is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
She is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "I'll love you forever,"
She means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
No one in this world can miss you more than that.

Monday, May 22, 2006

DATING & SEX....


Always a difficult subject this one. Youn can't get away from it,dating and sex are inextricably interlinked. If you are meeting people romantically, at some point you will want to go to bed with each other. For those who are religious,sex will remain within the boundaries of marriage.

For many others sex is initially a test of compatibility - a big one. If you don't get on well in bed, you won't be going much further. Modern generations are sexually demanding,they know how to give and receive pleasure and expect the same in return.

If you have certain sexual outlooks and preferences,you actively seek the same. There is no stigma about this,the fact is,we are guided in our choices by our sexual view of the world.If we are shy or sex does not play a big part in our world then we may actively seek someone similar. There is no point dating a stallion if we don't enjoy sex. Then again,if we are shy,maybe we are seeking a teacher. Marrying someone as a virgin is often now seen as too risky in the bigger scheme of things dues to the risk of sexual imcompatibility.

The importance of sexual compatibilty cannot be underestimated. For years to come you want to be stimulated by your partner and to stimulate them. The desire needs to be there otherwise your relationship may feel that it is lacking. A special closene may be lost. Let us be clear however,we are not necessarily talking about penetrative sex. There are many forms of sexual behaviour and i refer only to our compatibility,in whatever form it may take. If we are to share each other's bed, we need to want to be next to the person we choose. Therefore, for those who say that sex is not important,then their partner must feel the same way too.

Another issue worth mentioning is the ease in which sex frequently occurs in the early dates.This is a great shame. Certainly from a woman's point of view,however emancipated you may be,your greatest weapon and gift is your body. A man who is attracted to you will want to sleep with you,Yes.

However if you really want that man and would like to build a relationship it is absolutely essential that you do not sleep with him in the early stages. Desire over a longer period will capture the feelings and interest of a man. His emotions and feelings will become heightened the more elusive you are sexually.There is abolutely no gain to be had in having sex on the first few dates unless your aim is purely sexual too.

I cannot spell this out too strongly.If you want to win a man's heart,do not sleep with him immediately.Men are hunters; enjoy the chase, and the longer it goes on,the greater the respect and the more likely you will win his heart. Within limits - too long and you may lose him! He is a man, not a saint.I admit that this sounds like a sermon,but it is a tactic that works. If you simply want sex then fine,but if you want a relationship,hold off.

Guys,if all you want is sex,then do the lady a favour and go n pay for a magazine. You will tell her whatever she wants to hear to get her into bed. You can be slick,calculating and tell amazing lies but the following morning you will simply be seen for what you are,a lizard.

The fact is,if you are a guy and reading this hopefully you are looking to date properly and are not looking for cheap thrills. In which case is great.But do your dates a favour and back off from pressuring for sex in the early stages.Being sexy does not mean wanting sex. And another tip guys leave the sex talk for later,it comes across as sleazy and manipulative.

The first time you sleep together will be amazing if there is great anticipation and build up but can equally be an absolute disaster.Frequently it is the latter.It takes time to get to know each other in bed so take your time and never base the quality of sex on that very first time.Things can change and get a whole lot better.This is where your communication skills will be at their important.

Okay so Some Basic Points To Think About :-

* NEVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE ON THE FIRST DATE

* DO NOT CHAT ABOUT SEX ON THE FIRST FEW DATES,
ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A MAN.RETAIN YOUR ENIGMA FACTOR

* NEVER EVER SPEAK ABOUT SEX WITH YOUR EX WHEN DATING ANOTHER

* NEVER ADMIT TO HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU HAVE SLEPT WITH

* DATE PEOPLE YOU ARE PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO AS A START

* SEX IS GENERALLY IMPORTANT,LET'S NOT PRETEND OTHERWISE

* KISSING DOES NOT MEAN SEX

* BEING SEXY IS DIFFERENT TO BEING AVAILABLE

* HAVE SEX THE FIRST TIME WHEN YOU ARE MOST SOMFORTABLE

* REMEMBER THAT IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE IT IS BEST NOT TO
SLEEP WITH YOUR PARTNER AT YOUR APARTMENT

* ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX,THERE IS NO EXCUSE

* GOOD SEX IS A GOOD START; BAD SEX CAN GET BETTER THOUGH

* AVOD PEOPLE WHO ARE SELFISH IN THEIR SEXUAL NEEDS UNLESS
YOU SHARE THEM

* NEVER DO ANYTHIN YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH

* NEVER EVER BE RUSHED INTO SEX WHEN DATING

P.S : ABSTRACTED FROM A MAGAZINE...WANTED TO SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE.

ReBuilding TRUST.


The loss of trust is a very painful experience.It often involves alot of hurt,confusion,anger and sadness. Dealing with these emotions is critical when trying to rebuild trust.

When upset, we want our partners to understand our point of view - to understand our feelings and emotions. Undertsanding how we feel is important because it helps us deal with our negative feelings and move beyond them.

If a partner does not take the time to make us feel understood - we try to get even - we try to make our partners feel as bad as we do. Even though it sounds childish,when someone does not understand our hurt or pain - we try to make them feel what we are feeling (this is often an unconscious response).


Not feeling understood, often leads to a game of inflicting mutual hurt. In most cases, partners do not take the time tomake us feel understood because they do not know how to do it OR because they get defensive (feel under attack). When accused of wrongdoing,people often try to :-


* APOLOGIZE
* OFFER EXCUSES & EXPLAINATIONS
* WITHDRAW

* OR EVEN STTACK BACK


These strategies do NOT work because they fail to create real understanding. Simply put, people need to feel understood before apologies are offered and explanations are given. It is virtually impossible to rebuild trust until people who have been harmed feel understood.

So, when trying to build or repair trust - it helps to see the situation from a partner's point of view. Try to understand why the other oerson is so upset - directly acknowledge his or her interpretation of situation ("and,you have every right to be upset,because what i did was wrong.")


You basically have to agree that the other person's feelings are legitimate and fair - let the other person know that you grt it. If you can do this,trust is going to be much easier to regain. If you can make someone feel undertood when they are upset, they are more likely to :-

* CALM DOWN
* FORGIVE YOU

* FEEL CLOSER
* LISTEN TO YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY

If you don't take the time to understand your partner's feelings,rebuilding trust is much more difficult to do. But,once you make a partner feel understood, it becomes possible to offer an effective apology.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Keeping a Relationship


It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for the one available. Best to wait for the one you love than one who's around. Best to wait for the right one because life's too short to be wasted on just someone.

"An African proverb states, "Before you get married,keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye." Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs.

Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time, their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.

If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn how to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you.You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values,dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.

Neither one of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?

What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life" you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

What keeps a relationship strong?
* communication
* intimacy
* a sense of humor
* sharing household tasks

* some getaway time without business or children

* daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note)

* sharing common goals and interests

* giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure

* giving each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitm
ent


If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty and pain replace the passion. "As long as we have memories yesterday remains. As long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have friendship, today is beautiful."

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion,and the romance in a relationship and find out that you still care for that person.

P.S : Abstracted from a frend's post in a forum.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Men's Rules...


1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

2. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

3. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

4. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

5. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

6. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

7. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

8. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

9. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

ATTENTION WOMEN!! A Message From Men All around the World!


Message: World Cup Is Comin Up... SO..........

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the
The Sun's sport pages so you are aware of what's
going on regarding the World Cup and will be able
to join in conversations.

If you fail to do this, you'll be looked at in a bad
way or be
totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not
receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup the television is mine at
all times - without any exceptions.

3. I don't mind if you have to pass by in front of the
TV during a game - as long as you do it crawling
on the floor and without distracting me.

If you decide to stand naked in front of the TV,
make sure you put clothes on right after because if
you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to
the doctor or look after you during the World Cup
month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute -
unless I require a
refill of my drink or something to eat.

You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen
to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or
pick up the baby that just fell from the second
floor....it won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least
two six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as
plenty of things to nibble on.

And please do not make any funny faces to my
friends when they come over to watch the games.
In return, you will be allowed to use the TV
between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a
good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please if you see me upset
because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT
say "get over it, its only a game" or "don't worry,
they'll win next time".

If you say these things, you will only make me
angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will
never ever know more about football than me and
your so called "words of encouragement" will only
lead to a break-up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one
game and you can talk to me during half-time but
only when the adverts are on, and only if the score
is pleasing me.

In addition, please note I am saying "one" game,
hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy
excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I
don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen
them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any
other child related parties or gatherings that
requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house
on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in
a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV
every night is just as
important as the games themselves. Do not even
think about saying "but you have already seen
this...why don't you change the channel to
something we can all watch?" The reply will
be: "Refer to Rule ..2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such
as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4
years".

I am immune to these words, because after this
comes the Champions League, Italian League,
Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,

Men of the World

Monday, May 01, 2006

Life...A life poem...



Life can seem ungrateful and not always kind Life can pull at your heartstrings and play with your mind... Life can be blissful and happy and free... Life can put beauty in the things that you see... Life can place challenges right at your feet... Life can make good of the hardships we meet... Life can overwhelm you and make your head spin... Life can reward those determined to win... Life can be hurtful and not always fair... Life can surround you with people who care... Life clearly does offer its Up and its Downs... Life's days can bring you both smiles and frowns... Life teaches us to take the good with the bad... Life is a mixture of happy and sad...

So...


Take the Life that you have and give it your best... Think positive, be happy let God do the rest... Take the challenges that life has laid at your feet... Take pride and be thankful for each one you meet... To yourself give forgiveness if you stumble and fall... Take each day that is dealt you and give it your all... Take the love that you're given and return it with care... Have faith that when needed it will always be there... Take time to find the beauty in the things that you see... Take life's simple pleasures let them set your heart free... The idea here is simple to even the score... As you are met and faced with Life's Tug of War

Faded dresses, lost dreams.....


In a moment nothing is as it seems melted candles, love gone with a few words you're left alone and no one cares, nothing matters beautiful is just a word, the image shatters people grow old and the wrinkles set in and there's no time for change, no doing it again life is an enigma, another charade colors once so bright will soon fade nothing makes sense until the end hold onto your lovers, keep close to your freinds

the best advice comes straight from the heart
care about yourself that's where true love really starts don't let yourself fall in love too easy and don't always hold back see the world in many colors not just white and black love wholeheartedly even when the road is rough tell people that you care about them, no one is told enough don't hold on to your past make it a memory in you mind all broken hearts are healed, just give it time it's your life, the only one you can live Don't be afraid to love, that is the best advice I can give