" I can't take REJECTION!!!! "
I you can't stomach failure, you're not alone. "I don't know too many people who are happy when they get rejected," shares John P. Streklecky, author of the international bestseller THEY WHY ARE YOU HERE CAFE : A NEW WAY OF FINDING MEANING IN YOUR LIFE AND YOUR WORK. "And yet, i think there can be some benefits to it." If there's anyone who knows how to turn life's bitter limes into a swell margarita,it's Strelecky,who is no stranger to rejection. Over 20 American publishers turned down the manuscript for his book before it was picked up about a year ago. Today, THE WHY ARE YOU HERE CAFE is available in 14 languages and sold all over the world. With Strelecky's advice, you can turn your fiascoz into fuel for future success.
Think "Its not about me....or him"
"Exhibiting a blaming behaviour is one of the worst things we can do," says Strlecky,who has more proactive attitude. "If things aren't a good fit.There is no point in wasting your time and energy blaming others or yourself." Avid writer nd makeup enthuasiast Marie,29, felt crestfallen when she didn't land a job with a big cosmetics company. But three months later, she was interviewed for the coveted position of beauty editor for a glossy magazine - and snagged the job. "Now i write about what i love and get to try favourite beauty brands for free," she gushes.
Make rejection your mentor.
Failure can be a very valuable teacher. Say you interviewed for a job, only to learn the position went to someone else. What do you do?? Strlecky suggests taking time to talk toyour interviewer about why you didn't get it. "There is a chance you'll uncover something whcih you can use in your next interview, so that you get the next job," he explains. In some cases, asking for insight may help turn things around in y our favour even after you've been rejected. "If you ask an interviewer for feedback and he/she says he was looking for more examples of leadership skills, you can immediately say,"i'm sorry i didn't cover that more when we spoke earlier.Here are three situations where i've demonstrated excellent leadership."
Change your perspective.
See your glass as half-full, not half-empty. "Thomas Edison was trying to find filament for light bulbs, and after trying 10,000 things that didn't work,his comment was that he hadn't failed 10,000 times - he had discovered 10,000 things that didn't work," shares Strelecky. Edison learned from each rejection, made some changes, then tried again. "Luckily for all of us, he stayed with it and eventually figured it out."
Let it boost your confidence.
believe it or not, getting the door slammed in your face can be self-esteem booster. "Look at the person who is rejecting you and realise he or she is not as talented as you are," says Strlecky. When an interviewer snubbed Amy's impressive nine-year background in marketing, and turned her down for asking a salary that was way beyond the budget, Amy walked away knowing what she was worth. A day later, another manager within the same company got holf of her CV, recognised her genius, and offered her a much better job and salary."We have to be our own biggest fans," says Strelecky. "If we take rejection personally, our faith in our abilities goes down."
Keep trying until you hear a "YES".
"Sometimes, I think rejections are simply the universe's way of testing us to see how much we really want something,"No is almost never the answer; it just means we have to ask someone else, or ask in a different way." Despite a string of heartaches, Jaclyn never gave up on love and marriage. "My last two fiances both cheated on me, and that made me a love cynic for awhile," recounts the 32yr old jeweller. But a chance encounter with a shy Frenchman during a beach holiday inspired her to give love another chance."I told myself,'This could work out or it could fail.'But i chose to try anyway." Two years later, the two were married in an intimate ceremony in the French countryside of Provence.
Remember, nobody is immune to rejection - even successful people. "the difference is that rejection is temporary for successful people," says Strelecky. "They experience it, they learn from it, and then they overcome it." Just like them, you can too.
Think "Its not about me....or him"
"Exhibiting a blaming behaviour is one of the worst things we can do," says Strlecky,who has more proactive attitude. "If things aren't a good fit.There is no point in wasting your time and energy blaming others or yourself." Avid writer nd makeup enthuasiast Marie,29, felt crestfallen when she didn't land a job with a big cosmetics company. But three months later, she was interviewed for the coveted position of beauty editor for a glossy magazine - and snagged the job. "Now i write about what i love and get to try favourite beauty brands for free," she gushes.
Make rejection your mentor.
Failure can be a very valuable teacher. Say you interviewed for a job, only to learn the position went to someone else. What do you do?? Strlecky suggests taking time to talk toyour interviewer about why you didn't get it. "There is a chance you'll uncover something whcih you can use in your next interview, so that you get the next job," he explains. In some cases, asking for insight may help turn things around in y our favour even after you've been rejected. "If you ask an interviewer for feedback and he/she says he was looking for more examples of leadership skills, you can immediately say,"i'm sorry i didn't cover that more when we spoke earlier.Here are three situations where i've demonstrated excellent leadership."
Change your perspective.
See your glass as half-full, not half-empty. "Thomas Edison was trying to find filament for light bulbs, and after trying 10,000 things that didn't work,his comment was that he hadn't failed 10,000 times - he had discovered 10,000 things that didn't work," shares Strelecky. Edison learned from each rejection, made some changes, then tried again. "Luckily for all of us, he stayed with it and eventually figured it out."
Let it boost your confidence.
believe it or not, getting the door slammed in your face can be self-esteem booster. "Look at the person who is rejecting you and realise he or she is not as talented as you are," says Strlecky. When an interviewer snubbed Amy's impressive nine-year background in marketing, and turned her down for asking a salary that was way beyond the budget, Amy walked away knowing what she was worth. A day later, another manager within the same company got holf of her CV, recognised her genius, and offered her a much better job and salary."We have to be our own biggest fans," says Strelecky. "If we take rejection personally, our faith in our abilities goes down."
Keep trying until you hear a "YES".
"Sometimes, I think rejections are simply the universe's way of testing us to see how much we really want something,"No is almost never the answer; it just means we have to ask someone else, or ask in a different way." Despite a string of heartaches, Jaclyn never gave up on love and marriage. "My last two fiances both cheated on me, and that made me a love cynic for awhile," recounts the 32yr old jeweller. But a chance encounter with a shy Frenchman during a beach holiday inspired her to give love another chance."I told myself,'This could work out or it could fail.'But i chose to try anyway." Two years later, the two were married in an intimate ceremony in the French countryside of Provence.
Remember, nobody is immune to rejection - even successful people. "the difference is that rejection is temporary for successful people," says Strelecky. "They experience it, they learn from it, and then they overcome it." Just like them, you can too.
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