What a long dreadful gap...

Goodness...I never thought it would be 5 odd years since i penned down my thoughts and findings. 5 years does not look that long but when you look as numbers, it does look very long.
In this 5yrs alot of good and bad things have happened. Alot of happiness and sadness...Laughter and cries...Smiles and tears...Encouragement and disappointments...Peace and war...Love and hate..
I guess the list just goes on.
Is this all part and parcels of life? Without this,wouldn't there be a balance in life? When is enough? Where is the limit line drawn?
Where am I to start?
When will i be able to finish? There is so many questions are debating in my shrinking brain. When will I be able to find the answers to my long searched questions??

What a long dreadful gap...

Goodness...I never thought it would be 5 odd years since i penned down my thoughts and findings. 5 years does not look that long but when you it numbers, it does look very long. In this 5yrs alot of good and bad things have happened. Alot of happiness and sadness...Laughter and cries...Smiles and tears...Encouragement and disappointments...Peace and war...Love and hate.. I guess the list just goes on.
Is this all part and parcels of life? Without this,wouldn't there be a balance in life? When is enough? Where is the limit line drawn?
Where am I to start?
When will i be able to finish? There is so many questions are debating in my shrinking brain. When will I be able to find the answers to my long searched questions??

No One Cares

If I were lost in a room of mirrors
would I soon have to face my fears?
But the only fear I'd ever see
is the lonely reflection of me.
Soon comes out all my anger and pride.
They pick me up and take me for a ride.
They take me to a hole that seems to have no end.
Then they drop me to see my body bend.
Would I be able to catch myself on a jagged rock
or will I stay frozen in a permenant lock.
Would my superman come to save me
or he look down and just flee.
It breaks my heart to see no one cares
while my body becomes full of tares.
I finally hit the bottom.
With other bodies old and rotten.
The bony hands grab my arms and try to pull me down.
And that's when I begin to drown.
I kick and twist to release myself.
I pray this is a dream and I'll still have my health.
But they seem to pull me down anyway.
Now there is nothing left for me to say.

by: Susan Maxwell

Tears From My Eyes

Here I am again,
As I sit through the cold breeze of the night
Waiting for someone to come,
Waiting for someone to ease this pain in my heart
But alas, no one has yet arrived
No one has come to wipe these tears from my eyes

Sometimes I question,
If I have brought this curse upon myself
Or has fate led me to be destined like this?
Still I wait, for someone to take this pain off my chest
But alas, no one has yet arrived
No one has come to wipe these tears from my eyes

Because of this, I suffer with great regret
I did not confess to my beloved how I really feel
For I am not a woman with many convictions
Hence, I am alone and disconsolate
For I have passed a moment
That I would never have a chance to return to

So now I sit here yet again
Sitting through the cold breeze of the night
For I have passed a moment
Which I would regret till the end of time
For that, I am now alone
My beloved would never wipe these from my eyes

"HAPPY COUPLE + BAD HABITS = DISASTER!!!"

(WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BAD HABITS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE??)

Sometimes being in love means making sacrifices doesn't mean you hav to put up with your partner.(There's a big differece between giving up the last cookie and letting your other half get away with shoplifting) Bad habits can range from disgusting to downright illegal and end up ruining even the most perfect partnership.

So if happily ever after is what you want, try these steps to ensure a smooth sailing relationship.

STEP 1 : Confront Your Partner.

Ask your partner why he or she practises the bad habit and how it makes them feel. A lot of times, people do things because it makes them feel accepted by their friends, comforted when they have done it for so long that it has become acceptable to them. Most people, when confronted with a situation like this, will be in denial and will not willingly admit that what they are doing has become a problem. By getting them to answer these questions, you'll be helping them to come to terms with the fact that they do have a problem and what are the deep-rooted reasons for them wanting to do those things in the first place.


STEP 2 : Getting To The Root Of The Problem.

Open communications is the key to any successful relationships. Being open and honest with your significant other will help create trust in the relationship. Once you trust each other, it will be easier for you to tell him or her how you really feel about his or her bad habit. Sit down with your partner and tell them that you feel uncomfortable with what he or she is doing. Put across what exactly about the bad habit you feel uncomfortable with gently. Is it because you feel embarassed when they do it in public? Or is it because the bad habit is a threat to their health? Be prepared that your partner will probably get abgry or become extremely emotional. The most important thing at this stage is to stay calm, even if you feel otherwise.


STEP 3 : Be Supportive.

Lastly, ask if your partner is willing to break this bad habit and tell them that you will be there to give support if they are willing to change for the better. Assuming that your partner cannot totally give up their bad habit, try and reach a compromise and suggest that they try to reduce the number of times they practice the habit. You could suggest that they start a journal, if they havn't already, and record their feelings whenever they feel like doing the bad habit.


This are some suggestions for us to try out. When you are always the one giving into a relationship, there will be bound to be a day where you can't take it anymore. When that day arises....The consequences after your eruption will be drastic.At that time there is no turning back.

" I can't take REJECTION!!!! "

I you can't stomach failure, you're not alone. "I don't know too many people who are happy when they get rejected," shares John P. Streklecky, author of the international bestseller THEY WHY ARE YOU HERE CAFE : A NEW WAY OF FINDING MEANING IN YOUR LIFE AND YOUR WORK. "And yet, i think there can be some benefits to it." If there's anyone who knows how to turn life's bitter limes into a swell margarita,it's Strelecky,who is no stranger to rejection. Over 20 American publishers turned down the manuscript for his book before it was picked up about a year ago. Today, THE WHY ARE YOU HERE CAFE is available in 14 languages and sold all over the world. With Strelecky's advice, you can turn your fiascoz into fuel for future success.


Think "Its not about me....or him"
"Exhibiting a blaming behaviour is one of the worst things we can do," says Strlecky,who has more proactive attitude. "If things aren't a good fit.There is no point in wasting your time and energy blaming others or yourself." Avid writer nd makeup enthuasiast Marie,29, felt crestfallen when she didn't land a job with a big cosmetics company. But three months later, she was interviewed for the coveted position of beauty editor for a glossy magazine - and snagged the job. "Now i write about what i love and get to try favourite beauty brands for free," she gushes.

Make rejection your mentor.
Failure can be a very valuable teacher. Say you interviewed for a job, only to learn the position went to someone else. What do you do?? Strlecky suggests taking time to talk toyour interviewer about why you didn't get it. "There is a chance you'll uncover something whcih you can use in your next interview, so that you get the next job," he explains. In some cases, asking for insight may help turn things around in y our favour even after you've been rejected. "If you ask an interviewer for feedback and he/she says he was looking for more examples of leadership skills, you can immediately say,"i'm sorry i didn't cover that more when we spoke earlier.Here are three situations where i've demonstrated excellent leadership."

Change your perspective.
See your glass as half-full, not half-empty. "Thomas Edison was trying to find filament for light bulbs, and after trying 10,000 things that didn't work,his comment was that he hadn't failed 10,000 times - he had discovered 10,000 things that didn't work," shares Strelecky. Edison learned from each rejection, made some changes, then tried again. "Luckily for all of us, he stayed with it and eventually figured it out."

Let it boost your confidence.
believe it or not, getting the door slammed in your face can be self-esteem booster. "Look at the person who is rejecting you and realise he or she is not as talented as you are," says Strlecky. When an interviewer snubbed Amy's impressive nine-year background in marketing, and turned her down for asking a salary that was way beyond the budget, Amy walked away knowing what she was worth. A day later, another manager within the same company got holf of her CV, recognised her genius, and offered her a much better job and salary."We have to be our own biggest fans," says Strelecky. "If we take rejection personally, our faith in our abilities goes down."

Keep trying until you hear a "YES".
"Sometimes, I think rejections are simply the universe's way of testing us to see how much we really want something,"No is almost never the answer; it just means we have to ask someone else, or ask in a different way." Despite a string of heartaches, Jaclyn never gave up on love and marriage. "My last two fiances both cheated on me, and that made me a love cynic for awhile," recounts the 32yr old jeweller. But a chance encounter with a shy Frenchman during a beach holiday inspired her to give love another chance."I told myself,'This could work out or it could fail.'But i chose to try anyway." Two years later, the two were married in an intimate ceremony in the French countryside of Provence.

Remember, nobody is immune to rejection - even successful people. "the difference is that rejection is temporary for successful people," says Strelecky. "They experience it, they learn from it, and then they overcome it." Just like them, you can too.

Make your LOVE LAST The Distance !!

Couples who embark on long-distance relationships do so because they are convinced their love is far too special to just let fade away. But,deciding to stay together when you're going to be oceans apart from each other is as much a leap of faith as it is a leap in the dark. Along-distance relationship is hard work, and keeping those feelings intact requires a great deal of effort in the form of commitment and patience. Communication, too, is key, whether you are 1000 or 10 000 miles from each other. It is important to continue to share your thoughts and emotions as you did when you were physically together, to help strengthen the bonds that have held your relationship together all the while. Here, five special ways to show your guy/girl that, despite the distance, he/she is still your NUMBER ONE!

FAITHFULLY YOURS....
Surprise your honey with a hand-written love letter revealing your innermost feelings. It doesn't matter if you don't consider yourself a good write; let love guide you and just let the words flow. Need inspiration?? Check out Passionate Love Letters; An Anthology Of Desire by Michelle Lovric. Letter writting is a lost art, which is why your guy/girl is bound to appreciate the effort you made putting pen to paper. be sure to use nice stationery, and spritz your letter with your favourite perfume before sealing the envelope.

LUST LINES....
Fire up those sexy memories with a naugthy phone conversation (use your best sex-kitten voice). You can start by saying you miss his/her touch and kisses, and that you can't wait to feel his/her arms around you/make out with him or her/ (insert your sexy desire here). Take it further by exchanging sexy fantasies over the phone. Sharing such sweet intimacies verbally can help reinforce the attraction you feel towards each other.

BLOG IT....
Start a web log for your honey's eyes only. A blog is a great tool for him to keep up-to-speed with what's going on in your world. You can even share photos this way (but not of the racy sort as people can randomly find your blog even if you've kept the address private). A blog is an online journal, so keep the tone of your writting like that of a personal iary entry. Make sure he posts comments!

PICTURE THIS....
Make him a scrapbook of risque photos, complete with steamy captions. You don't have to reveal all in order to get the sexy message across : even photos of you in a lovely lingerie and heels will be enough to get his pulse racing. (Warning! If you're afraid your pics will show up on the 'Net ahould your relationship sour, don't put yourself at risk in the first place).Pictures taken together which will trigger alot of lovely memories are well recommended.


GIFT OF LOVE....
Send him/her a box of his/her favourite snacks, magazines, toiletries, and anything else you think he/she might need. He/She'll be touched by the fact that you actually remember what he/she likes, and happier still because it probably isn't everyday he/she gets nice surprises in the mail. Include a heartfelt note with the package, letting him/her know you're thinking about him/her and that the contents were specially handpicked by YOU!

MEN....what do they actually want????

Women often tell that men confuse them and that they are unsure what a man is really looking for.If the media is to be believed, many women don't care what a man is looking for anymore because they have been empowered by their own sexuality liberated career woman in change of their own destiny.In which case, as long as the man wants them, that is fine.

It doesn't matter whether that view is actually true or not.What is true is that the modern man is increasingly struggling to find his place in the world.The Armed Forces and Space programs quite rightly have very highly qualified career women working in their departments and in most aspects of industry,women are excelling.The old male bastions are crumbling and with them their innate self-respect as well as their understanding of how they should act and what they desire.

Any woman reading this may say well it's a problem for men ang they should deal with it.Absolutely,but you cannot expect miracles instantly.Generations of history dictating a man's role and function cannot be decided and altered in the space of 20 years without some fallout.Few can argue against the excitement felt by women as their empowerment continues but at the same tims,one must expect issues to coincide with this.And one of those as i said is the question of understanding what the
modern man is looking for.

Men have started to evoice and are starting to grasp the fact that their role may not be as it once was."Starting' is the operative word because this does not mean that there aren't large swathes of the world where men insist on being the breadwinner and women should still remain at home rearing children.It is going to take a long time to change the world.However,a change is in full swing.Men know that to find a mate they are going to have to work harder than ever before and they are aware that women call the shots far more than ever before.But this doesn't essentially change what a man is looking for.

Okay....So what is a man seeking??

* First of all a man is seeking a love-interest.This may surprise many women but men like to love and they like being loved in return.The problem they say is that many so called liberated modern women come across as impassioned and cold.It is not easy to find a loving woman and it is very noticeable how many men try ang hang on when they think they hav found their Miss Right.

* Men are seeking a woman who is attractive to them.Women may despair that men can be so shallow and that looks could matter so much but be careful.Men aren't necessarily looking for a catwalk model and many men don't like women who weigh 80lbs.But men do want a woman who takes pride in their appearance (though not excessively).Men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good and i don't believe any man who says otherwise.

* Men are looking for a trustworthy girl,someone they can have faith in and someone who will be there for them.This may sound like an add thing to say,but the fact is some women are not trustworthy and many are not faithful either.So manmy men are increasingly wary.That kiss at a party or the flirtatious behaviour with the gorgeous barman may not count and in fact it's all great fun and part of a woman's character.But reverse the situation and as a woman,you hate him doing the same.A man can never forgive a woman being unfaithful and so he is looking for someone who he really does trust.

* Men want to make a home eventually and are loking for a woman who will be willing sharer in home life.Women with a sociable lifestyle are attractive because they can be relied upon to keep the social diary running in a long-term relationship .

* Men are seeking women who are feminine gentle and kind because deep down the qualities that make a woman a great mother are an attraction in themselves.I am not suggesting that the man himself needs mothering,though some do,it is more the point that men seek the attribute in women that point to omeone who would make a great mother to future offspring.

* Men want women with a great sense of humor.Women often come across as uptight or too bothered by too many small details.You will sometimes hear mention of a girl who is 'one of the boys'.What tis means is that she is able to fit in with their humour and is sociable and fun to be with.Such women are extremely attractive to many men.Men want to have a good time and relax when not working and so their ideal partners are women who are able to do the same.

* Men are looking for women who retain their femininity and are caring and kind no matter how they wheel and deal in the boardrooms.In recent years,aping men may be a female fashion statement,but it doesn't make them attractive.Whilst every woman in the world burps and farts and has the right to drink pints of beer,it doesn't necessaily attract them to the opposite sex.Women can get angry and say well men will just have to get used to it,but the issue is that they don't.They can just choose not to go for women who act in the same way as their drinking buddies.

* Men want someone who is supportive.Many women are quick to critize men in their behaviour,career and set about trying to alter them and mould them.This is a crucial mistake.Men can be manipulated yes,but they see their partnerships as support systems.The best relationships work both ways in terms of support.Where a woman is not able or willing to give that support and is quick to criticize then she may lose he man.

* Men don't like angry women who shout.They want a woman who can debate and converse and is able to discuss.Communication is king.A fiery passionate temperament may have made you interesting and challenging on day one.But by day 500 it holds no glory whatsoever.

* Men love a challenging woman,someone who keeps them on their toes.Men are generally lazy in relationships once they feel they're in secured territory.When a man is challenged so he does something about it.If you want to keep youe man interested,keep him challenged.

* Men are generally more reserved about sex than women.This is my experience and it is a fact.Men know what they like in bed and tend to stick to it.The adventurous sexual appetite in most men isn't there even if they are convinced it is.Men in reality are quite conservative.Sexually adventurous has nothing to do with having lots of partners and more to do with the things they will try with the same partner.In most test cases i have conducted,it is the man who looks for a man quiet time in the bedroom and the woman who ultimately becomes bored.

* Men want a woman who will commit to them.Though increasingly this ishard to find,it doesn't take away the wish.Men want a girlfriend who they can share with and trust and be open with.Commitments is not a on-way street and therefore men are struggling to find the levels of commitment they found previously.But the need is still there.

* Men don't want to be alone...

This topic can easily fire a great debate and i may be accused of being completely wrong but that is the beauty of opinions.We all have them.The fact is a modern man is seeking a reliable,sexy,single girl with whom he can have a long-term relationship.He
wants to have fun,share his life and ultimately settle down.There are few long-term bachelors but not that many.The problem guys have is that the world has changed.They don't necessarily want to have children and settle down straight away,but it will come.They do seek self-respect even if they are not the primary breadwinners and they seek respect from their partner.Whilst women become increasingly strong in their new roles in society,it is worth remembering that it takes and always will take,two to tango.

P.S : This is an article i read in a women's fashion magazine...this was written by a female on what she understood about a men.I felt this was interesting and i blogged it to share it wif my friends.

The problems with GUYS:

If u treat him nicely, he says u are in love with him;
If u dont, he says u are proud.

If u dress nicely, he says u are trying to lure him;
If u dont, he says u are from kampung.

If u argue with him, he says u are stubborn;
If u keep quiet, he says u have no brains.

If u are smarter than him, he'll lose face;
If he's smarter than u, he is great.

If u dont love him, he tries to possess u;
If u love him, he will try to leave u.

If u dont make love with him, he says u dont love
him;
If u do, he says u are cheap.

If u tell him your problem, he says u are
troublesome;
If u dont, he says that u dont trust him.

If u scold him, u are like a nanny to him;
If he scolds u, it is because he cares for u.

If u break your promise, u cannot be trusted;
If he breaks his, he is forced to do so.

If u smoke, u are bad girl;
If he smokes, it's a new fashion.

If u do well in your exams, he says it's luck;
If he does well, it's brains.

If u hurt him, u are cruel;
If he hurts u, u are too sensitive!!

SO HARD TO PLEASE!!!!!
If guys were to read this, they will swear that it's not true..but if u don't they say u are selfish.....
Guys...pls dun take tis to heart...tis is only meant for some males who r just stubborn to realise themselves tat they r such....And gals...pls take tis for a good laugh....

~sUmThIn To PoNdEr AbOuT~

GUYS FACTS :

When a guy calls u,
He wants to be with you.

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you.

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong.

When a guy says, "I'm fine," after a few minutes,
He means it.

When a guy stares at you,
He thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the
world.

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
He has the world.

When a guy calls you everyday
He is in love.

When a (good) guy say he loves you
He means it.

When a guy says he can't live without you
He's with you till your done.

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
He misses you more than you could have ever
missed
him or anything else.


GIRL FACTS:

When a girl is quiet,
Millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few
seconds,
She is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
She is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "I'll love you forever,"
She means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
No one in this world can miss you more than that.

DATING & SEX....

Always a difficult subject this one. Youn can't get away from it,dating and sex are inextricably interlinked. If you are meeting people romantically, at some point you will want to go to bed with each other. For those who are religious,sex will remain within the boundaries of marriage.

For many others sex is initially a test of compatibility - a big one. If you don't get on well in bed, you won't be going much further. Modern generations are sexually demanding,they know how to give and receive pleasure and expect the same in return.

If you have certain sexual outlooks and preferences,you actively seek the same. There is no stigma about this,the fact is,we are guided in our choices by our sexual view of the world.If we are shy or sex does not play a big part in our world then we may actively seek someone similar. There is no point dating a stallion if we don't enjoy sex. Then again,if we are shy,maybe we are seeking a teacher. Marrying someone as a virgin is often now seen as too risky in the bigger scheme of things dues to the risk of sexual imcompatibility.

The importance of sexual compatibilty cannot be underestimated. For years to come you want to be stimulated by your partner and to stimulate them. The desire needs to be there otherwise your relationship may feel that it is lacking. A special closene may be lost. Let us be clear however,we are not necessarily talking about penetrative sex. There are many forms of sexual behaviour and i refer only to our compatibility,in whatever form it may take. If we are to share each other's bed, we need to want to be next to the person we choose. Therefore, for those who say that sex is not important,then their partner must feel the same way too.

Another issue worth mentioning is the ease in which sex frequently occurs in the early dates.This is a great shame. Certainly from a woman's point of view,however emancipated you may be,your greatest weapon and gift is your body. A man who is attracted to you will want to sleep with you,Yes.

However if you really want that man and would like to build a relationship it is absolutely essential that you do not sleep with him in the early stages. Desire over a longer period will capture the feelings and interest of a man. His emotions and feelings will become heightened the more elusive you are sexually.There is abolutely no gain to be had in having sex on the first few dates unless your aim is purely sexual too.

I cannot spell this out too strongly.If you want to win a man's heart,do not sleep with him immediately.Men are hunters; enjoy the chase, and the longer it goes on,the greater the respect and the more likely you will win his heart. Within limits - too long and you may lose him! He is a man, not a saint.I admit that this sounds like a sermon,but it is a tactic that works. If you simply want sex then fine,but if you want a relationship,hold off.

Guys,if all you want is sex,then do the lady a favour and go n pay for a magazine. You will tell her whatever she wants to hear to get her into bed. You can be slick,calculating and tell amazing lies but the following morning you will simply be seen for what you are,a lizard.

The fact is,if you are a guy and reading this hopefully you are looking to date properly and are not looking for cheap thrills. In which case is great.But do your dates a favour and back off from pressuring for sex in the early stages.Being sexy does not mean wanting sex. And another tip guys leave the sex talk for later,it comes across as sleazy and manipulative.

The first time you sleep together will be amazing if there is great anticipation and build up but can equally be an absolute disaster.Frequently it is the latter.It takes time to get to know each other in bed so take your time and never base the quality of sex on that very first time.Things can change and get a whole lot better.This is where your communication skills will be at their important.

Okay so Some Basic Points To Think About :-

* NEVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE ON THE FIRST DATE

* DO NOT CHAT ABOUT SEX ON THE FIRST FEW DATES,
ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A MAN.RETAIN YOUR ENIGMA FACTOR

* NEVER EVER SPEAK ABOUT SEX WITH YOUR EX WHEN DATING ANOTHER

* NEVER ADMIT TO HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU HAVE SLEPT WITH

* DATE PEOPLE YOU ARE PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO AS A START

* SEX IS GENERALLY IMPORTANT,LET'S NOT PRETEND OTHERWISE

* KISSING DOES NOT MEAN SEX

* BEING SEXY IS DIFFERENT TO BEING AVAILABLE

* HAVE SEX THE FIRST TIME WHEN YOU ARE MOST SOMFORTABLE

* REMEMBER THAT IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE IT IS BEST NOT TO
SLEEP WITH YOUR PARTNER AT YOUR APARTMENT

* ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX,THERE IS NO EXCUSE

* GOOD SEX IS A GOOD START; BAD SEX CAN GET BETTER THOUGH

* AVOD PEOPLE WHO ARE SELFISH IN THEIR SEXUAL NEEDS UNLESS
YOU SHARE THEM

* NEVER DO ANYTHIN YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH

* NEVER EVER BE RUSHED INTO SEX WHEN DATING

P.S : ABSTRACTED FROM A MAGAZINE...WANTED TO SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE.

ReBuilding TRUST.

The loss of trust is a very painful experience.It often involves alot of hurt,confusion,anger and sadness. Dealing with these emotions is critical when trying to rebuild trust.

When upset, we want our partners to understand our point of view - to understand our feelings and emotions. Undertsanding how we feel is important because it helps us deal with our negative feelings and move beyond them.

If a partner does not take the time to make us feel understood - we try to get even - we try to make our partners feel as bad as we do. Even though it sounds childish,when someone does not understand our hurt or pain - we try to make them feel what we are feeling (this is often an unconscious response).

Not feeling understood, often leads to a game of inflicting mutual hurt. In most cases, partners do not take the time tomake us feel understood because they do not know how to do it OR because they get defensive (feel under attack). When accused of wrongdoing,people often try to :-

* APOLOGIZE
* OFFER EXCUSES & EXPLAINATIONS
* WITHDRAW
* OR EVEN STTACK BACK

These strategies do NOT work because they fail to create real understanding. Simply put, people need to feel understood before apologies are offered and explanations are given. It is virtually impossible to rebuild trust until people who have been harmed feel understood.

So, when trying to build or repair trust - it helps to see the situation from a partner's point of view. Try to understand why the other oerson is so upset - directly acknowledge his or her interpretation of situation ("and,you have every right to be upset,because what i did was wrong.")

You basically have to agree that the other person's feelings are legitimate and fair - let the other person know that you grt it. If you can do this,trust is going to be much easier to regain. If you can make someone feel undertood when they are upset, they are more likely to :-

* CALM DOWN
* FORGIVE YOU
* FEEL CLOSER
* LISTEN TO YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY

If you don't take the time to understand your partner's feelings,rebuilding trust is much more difficult to do. But,once you make a partner feel understood, it becomes possible to offer an effective apology.